"How can I find love?" Supper amazing answers..
"How can I find love?" is a very common question on almost everyone's mind. And for good reason. Life can be pretty awesome, and love can make it even better.
1. Be positive.
Picture your dream partner and what they will be like. Make a list of traits and remember that personality traits are more important than the physical, though those are important as well. Wake up every morning seeing the day ahead as an opportunity to better yourself and your life, while at the same time helping others as well.
2. Improve yourself.
Learn a language, read more (find the types of books that you are passionate about, there are books for EVERYONE!), stay busy and make your life great. If there are negative people/bullies, in your life, slowly start distancing yourself from them. It may feel a little awkward at first, but you will flourish in your new positive environment. Trust me. It is also true what they say: For someone to love you, you have to love yourself. Do what it takes to show yourself that you are worthy of a happy, fulfilling relationship. Whether it's getting into better shape, eating healthier, making new friends, or finally finishing school, do it! Your future self will thank you for it.
3. Meet people.
I think people sometimes forget that humans are social creatures and that we need to interact with one another. Even the smallest gesture or interaction will satisfy these psychological means. Everyone has them, too. Even the "loners" eventually find other "loners" to be "loners" with! Volunteer, join/start a book club, take a class, talk to people in the grocery store and ask for recipes, talk to your parents, your waiter, and meet their friends. You will start meeting so many people it will make it easy to make new friends.
Remember not to overwhelm yourself with all these new people. People have a way of weeding themselves out of our lives so you don't have to, and the ones that stick around are the people you want anyway, so everything works out. Get out of your comfort zone! Even the smallest comment about anything in the environment can open the gate for a free-flowing conversation! Some people love to talk and will talk to anyone. I learned this firsthand. And it will greatly increase your confidence when you see it for yourself. One of the best books that I have read on this subject is Always Talk to Strangers (shown in Amazon.com capsule on right).
4. Be proactive.
Most people take a passive role when it comes to love. I think of it as a numbers game; if you are moving about in circles of people like you (same interests, values, etc.) the chances of you meeting someone compatible with you grows exponentially. I say exponentially because through every new person you may meet 3 more people -so meet 3 new people and that potentially means that you could meet 12 people total. And then those new people may introduce more! It is a chain reaction. I don't like the idea of sitting back and waiting for something to happen. Leonardo da Vinci said, "People of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them, they went out and happened to things." This is the attitude that I agree to take with love. But for some, it is good enough to sit back and wait to see what the current on life brings.
5. Be patient.
You will need to show patience and don't be discouraged if the first few dates or potential mates don't measure it. I have been single for almost 2 years now, and there is no prospect on the horizon, but that can always change! The best part is that it only takes one person to change your world and make everything else make sense. All the incompatible people from your dating history will not matter when you find a keeper. And there are plenty of keepers out there, trust me. The idea of there being a perfect for someone is a nice thought, but statistically impossible. There is probably no one that matches you on every interest and level, but would you want that anyway? It may be boring. There are many people that you are compatibles in different dimensions like your sense of humor, activities,
6. Be truly open with the possibility of falling in love.
I know a lot of people with issues they carry from past relationships. This is hard to recognize and admit for some people but can make or break the next relationship. If you are still fearful/hurt/angry/in love with the last relationship you had, you need to take time from the battlefield of love to heal your wounds and get your psychological self in order again. Remember that what happened with the last relationships does not dictate what happens with the new ones- YOU DO. They are not the same people. I have seen some of the relationships with the best potential gone down the drain because of a person's baggage from the last. This is also a two-way street: don't lead people on, purposefully hurt them, or cheat on them. This usually makes them jaded and makes it hard for them to trust again. If you notice a pattern on your past relationships, probably a link of reasons of why they are now
past relationships, don't ignore them -explore them! Write about them, talk about them -anything to help you learn better for the next. For example, if you tend to go for the bad/dangerous type but always seem to get your heart broken, try dating other personality types. You may be pleasantly surprised. Also, this is a great way to get to know yourself: what you like and don't like in a person/date/situation/etc.
1. Be positive.
Picture your dream partner and what they will be like. Make a list of traits and remember that personality traits are more important than the physical, though those are important as well. Wake up every morning seeing the day ahead as an opportunity to better yourself and your life, while at the same time helping others as well.
2. Improve yourself.
Learn a language, read more (find the types of books that you are passionate about, there are books for EVERYONE!), stay busy and make your life great. If there are negative people/bullies, in your life, slowly start distancing yourself from them. It may feel a little awkward at first, but you will flourish in your new positive environment. Trust me. It is also true what they say: For someone to love you, you have to love yourself. Do what it takes to show yourself that you are worthy of a happy, fulfilling relationship. Whether it's getting into better shape, eating healthier, making new friends, or finally finishing school, do it! Your future self will thank you for it.
3. Meet people.
I think people sometimes forget that humans are social creatures and that we need to interact with one another. Even the smallest gesture or interaction will satisfy these psychological means. Everyone has them, too. Even the "loners" eventually find other "loners" to be "loners" with! Volunteer, join/start a book club, take a class, talk to people in the grocery store and ask for recipes, talk to your parents, your waiter, and meet their friends. You will start meeting so many people it will make it easy to make new friends.
Remember not to overwhelm yourself with all these new people. People have a way of weeding themselves out of our lives so you don't have to, and the ones that stick around are the people you want anyway, so everything works out. Get out of your comfort zone! Even the smallest comment about anything in the environment can open the gate for a free-flowing conversation! Some people love to talk and will talk to anyone. I learned this firsthand. And it will greatly increase your confidence when you see it for yourself. One of the best books that I have read on this subject is Always Talk to Strangers (shown in Amazon.com capsule on right).
4. Be proactive.
Most people take a passive role when it comes to love. I think of it as a numbers game; if you are moving about in circles of people like you (same interests, values, etc.) the chances of you meeting someone compatible with you grows exponentially. I say exponentially because through every new person you may meet 3 more people -so meet 3 new people and that potentially means that you could meet 12 people total. And then those new people may introduce more! It is a chain reaction. I don't like the idea of sitting back and waiting for something to happen. Leonardo da Vinci said, "People of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them, they went out and happened to things." This is the attitude that I agree to take with love. But for some, it is good enough to sit back and wait to see what the current on life brings.
5. Be patient.
You will need to show patience and don't be discouraged if the first few dates or potential mates don't measure it. I have been single for almost 2 years now, and there is no prospect on the horizon, but that can always change! The best part is that it only takes one person to change your world and make everything else make sense. All the incompatible people from your dating history will not matter when you find a keeper. And there are plenty of keepers out there, trust me. The idea of there being a perfect for someone is a nice thought, but statistically impossible. There is probably no one that matches you on every interest and level, but would you want that anyway? It may be boring. There are many people that you are compatibles in different dimensions like your sense of humor, activities,
6. Be truly open with the possibility of falling in love.
I know a lot of people with issues they carry from past relationships. This is hard to recognize and admit for some people but can make or break the next relationship. If you are still fearful/hurt/angry/in love with the last relationship you had, you need to take time from the battlefield of love to heal your wounds and get your psychological self in order again. Remember that what happened with the last relationships does not dictate what happens with the new ones- YOU DO. They are not the same people. I have seen some of the relationships with the best potential gone down the drain because of a person's baggage from the last. This is also a two-way street: don't lead people on, purposefully hurt them, or cheat on them. This usually makes them jaded and makes it hard for them to trust again. If you notice a pattern on your past relationships, probably a link of reasons of why they are now
past relationships, don't ignore them -explore them! Write about them, talk about them -anything to help you learn better for the next. For example, if you tend to go for the bad/dangerous type but always seem to get your heart broken, try dating other personality types. You may be pleasantly surprised. Also, this is a great way to get to know yourself: what you like and don't like in a person/date/situation/etc.
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