Do you know this type of cheating?

Micro-cheating is essentially a small act of cheating. Now, what does that mean? It is the act of being disloyal to your partner, but on a smaller scale than traditional cheating.

Does that make it right? No, not at all. But it does make it a little less wrong depending who you are talking to.

For me personally, I have been cheated on so any cheating in my book, even of micro proportions is a no-no. I find that micro-cheating can often times lead to legitimate cheating.

But from others’ perspectives, micro-cheating can be considered totally innocent or even healthy for a relationship as long as both partners feel the same. 

Is micro-cheating infidelity?

Once again, it depends who you talk to. What matters is what you and your current or future partner believe to be considered cheating. Infidelity, however, is the act of being unfaithful to your partner, and micro-cheating falls into that grey area.

It can be argued both ways. So you and your partner need to decide what is okay and what is over the line. This way, you can both ensure you are not going out of the bounds of your relationship, especially to a point where your partner feels betrayed.

What are some examples of micro-cheating?

Micro-cheating is not what you know and recognize as cheating. It is usually quite a bit less obvious and a bit more subtle. It can be a small gesture, a flirty phrase, or a drunk lapse in judgment.

#1 Texting someone you’re attracted to. You may have read that and thought “what the heck.” And you would be right. Texting someone attractive doesn’t have to mean anything, but neither does micro-cheating.

Texting someone is fine, but if this is someone you would possibly date if you were single, it is micro-cheating. Think, if your partner would be upset by this, it is a form of cheating. What would make this behavior actual cheating? Changing their name in your phone to hide it from your partner.

That takes it from innocent chatting to hidden sketchy texts. 

#2 Telling people you’re single. A guy buys you a drink at the bar and you flirt for a bit. That is pretty innocent. But if he asks you if you are single and you lie, that is micro-cheating. We all think about the single life while we are in a relationship, but actually being in front of someone that can make that a reality is disloyal.

Why would you feel the need to downplay or completely lie about having a boyfriend? If it is solely to get free drinks for the night, okay. But if you are enjoying the attention of another guy and are comfortable letting him believe you are not involved, that is micro-cheating.

#3 Keeping secrets. Any lying in a relationship is not good. But lying because you know your partner would be upset tells you that you probably shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing in the first place. If you have to lie about what you’re doing, it is wrong. 

#4 Talking to an ex. If you and an ex work together or share a friend group, that’s fine. But if you reach out to an ex on your former anniversary, that is micro-cheating. If you feel guilty for talking to them or wouldn’t want your partner to find out, it is micro-cheating.

#5 Being on a dating app. Whether you are chatting people up or just mindlessly swiping to see what is out there, that is micro-cheating. There is no need to be on a dating app when you are in a healthy relationship. And any desire to be on a dating app while you are with someone should be a red flag that something isn’t right.

#6 Disrespecting your partner. You may not have intended to sleep with or even kiss anyone other than your partner, but pushing an interaction right up until that breaking point is micro-cheating. You may not be cheating, but you are doing everything but. 

#7 Emotionally cheating. Just because there was no physical connection does not mean you weren’t cheating. Connecting with someone emotionally while you are dating someone else is micro-cheating and leading into more. Some would say this is even worse than physical cheating.

#8 Checking up on someone. With social media, there are so many ways to micro-cheat. Liking Kim Kardashian’s bikini post would not be micro-cheating, but commenting heart eyes on your college girlfriend’s bikini pic could be. Repeatedly going back to someone’s profile could also be considered micro-cheating.

It really depends on the reasons why you are doing these things, and if your partner’s okay with it.