Important things every couple must talk about before getting married
The little things mean the most. Yet, these are the details we tend to neglect and we are left with huge issues that we cannot solve.
The big problems in marriages could not be so huge if they were addressed earlier when the couples were still dating. You love someone and think that things will simply fall into their rightful place once you get married. Only to realize that the small things are more important than you thought.
Now, if you are dating, there are things you must discuss with your partner before you get married. So that if you are not in agreement, you can deal with it early enough. Be sure to talk with your partner about these things before tying the knot:
1. Debts
If one of you has debts, how do you plan to pay them? Should the person bear the burden alone or are you planning to pay them off from your joints saving account? This is for both of you to decide to avoid unnecessary wrangles in marriage.
2. Division of labor
Who cleans the dishes, who helps the kids with the homework and who does laundry? You could just assume that you will both share the duties equally but what if your partner is not comfortable doing some chores? Discuss and come to an agreement before marriage.
3. Religion
If you do not subscribe to the same religion, what are you going to about it? Does one partner have to change their religion or are you comfortable with the difference? What about the children? Which religion will they subscribe to? This may seem like something little but it can ignite such a huge fire in marriage.
4. Bank accounts
Are you going to have a joints account? If not, are your accounts secret or each of you can access the other person’s anytime?
5. Kids
A very important topic that most people neglect. If you both want kids, how many do you want to have and how do you plan to raise them?
6. Location
Where will you be living? Will the husband be working in the urban area while the wife stays at her husband’s rural home with her mom-in-law? And if you will live together, which town or estate do you want to live in?
7. Financial status
The money talk is one of the most difficult one among couples but it’s very important. Be open about your financial status and tell your partner if you have any debts and the amount of money you are making. If you have a project or are taking a course, let your partner know in advance. This way, you will be in a position to plan for your expenditure without burdening each other.
8. Sex
Discuss openly about your sexual needs and if there are boundaries that should be respected. If you have a traumatic sexual history, talk to your partner about it. Together, come with a solution on how to address it to avoid a negative impact on your marriage.
The big problems in marriages could not be so huge if they were addressed earlier when the couples were still dating. You love someone and think that things will simply fall into their rightful place once you get married. Only to realize that the small things are more important than you thought.
1. Debts
If one of you has debts, how do you plan to pay them? Should the person bear the burden alone or are you planning to pay them off from your joints saving account? This is for both of you to decide to avoid unnecessary wrangles in marriage.
2. Division of labor
Who cleans the dishes, who helps the kids with the homework and who does laundry? You could just assume that you will both share the duties equally but what if your partner is not comfortable doing some chores? Discuss and come to an agreement before marriage.
3. Religion
If you do not subscribe to the same religion, what are you going to about it? Does one partner have to change their religion or are you comfortable with the difference? What about the children? Which religion will they subscribe to? This may seem like something little but it can ignite such a huge fire in marriage.
4. Bank accounts
Are you going to have a joints account? If not, are your accounts secret or each of you can access the other person’s anytime?
5. Kids
A very important topic that most people neglect. If you both want kids, how many do you want to have and how do you plan to raise them?
6. Location
Where will you be living? Will the husband be working in the urban area while the wife stays at her husband’s rural home with her mom-in-law? And if you will live together, which town or estate do you want to live in?
7. Financial status
The money talk is one of the most difficult one among couples but it’s very important. Be open about your financial status and tell your partner if you have any debts and the amount of money you are making. If you have a project or are taking a course, let your partner know in advance. This way, you will be in a position to plan for your expenditure without burdening each other.
8. Sex
Discuss openly about your sexual needs and if there are boundaries that should be respected. If you have a traumatic sexual history, talk to your partner about it. Together, come with a solution on how to address it to avoid a negative impact on your marriage.
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